Friday Old Stuff: Advice for Living from Ballboy

I'm headed off to British Columbia for a few days to ski, so I've decided to turn over my duties to a guest poster. Since the advice received from Ballboy for Valentine's Day was well received, I thought it might be useful to mine that source for some more general advice on life and living. We here at When You Motor Away are all about self improvement. So let's turn it over to the readers and Ballboy

Reader: There is a clerk in the record store I frequent who is dismissive about my music choices. What approach should I take?

Ballboy: "Avant Garde Music"



Reader: I have a problem with this person who frequently argues with me about personal matters and I don't know how to extricate myself and get on with my life. Any suggestions?

Ballboy: Why yes, yes I do. I suggest saying "I Don't Have Time to Stand Here With You Fighting About the Size of My Dick":



It also helps to toss out some lines about guns and dead people just to make them a bit more unlikely to want to keep hanging around you.

Reader: I'm hoping that you can help me, Ballboy. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong crowd, but it seems so comfortable for me, and I keep thinking they'll change.

Ballboy: "You Can't Spend Your Whole Life Hanging Around With Arseholes":



Reader: Ballboy, I expect that even you can't help me with my unusual problem. My girlfriend and I are both cannibals, and we love each other but are a bit afraid of each other. Do you have any thoughts.

Ballboy: Simple, my friend, look your beloved in the eye and say "Kiss Me, Hold Me and Eat Me":



Reader: I think that my relationship with my girlfriend is running out of steam. How to I handle this?

Ballboy: I think honesty is important. Try telling her that "All the Records on the Radio are Shite":



I hope the readers find this helpful. Further inquiries can be addressed as follows:

Ballboy website

Ballboy on Facebook